The power of surrendering instead of forcing
This blog post—my last one of 2025—is the story of an evolution.
It's the story of going from hustling to finding flow, from controlling (or trying to control) to trusting that what is meant to be, will be. It’s the story of how 2025 became my year to live my greatest lesson of all, which is simply . . . to surrender.
Before I talk about where I am now, I need to tell you about how—and who—I used to be.
I used to measure my performance by my productivity. If I wasn’t busy, I wasn’t succeeding, so I just stayed busy—but I wasn’t always intentional about it. Instead of carefully evaluating the best uses of my time, I would force things. I really believed that my effort was connected to my impact: If I was trying to close a contract, for example, I would follow up (and follow up, and follow up . . .) with people until I got to “yes.”
I constantly obsessed over our numbers and our growth. The spreadsheets with our company’s revenue forecasts were always open on my computer, and I always knew exactly how much we’d brought in year-to-date. That put me in a state of constantly feeling like I had to do more to keep the numbers going up, which meant saying yes to things that brought in revenue but that weren’t necessarily the best—or most fulfilling—for me.
I did all of this for a couple of reasons. First, I think it’s how I learned to find my value. By achieving. And second, I felt an extreme sense of personal responsibility to my team. As a leader and business owner, one of my biggest priorities is creating a sustainable future for us. And yet . . . the way I was going about it was totally unsustainable for me.
Toward the end of 2024—around this time last year—I unconsciously began to let go of that version of myself. I say “unconsciously” because I didn’t know it was happening until our last team meeting of the year. Someone asked me for our final revenue number of the year, and I . . . didn’t know it. The question caught me totally by surprise. In years past, I would have rattled off the number instantly, down to the cent. But here I was in our end-of-year meeting—where we always talk about revenue—and I hadn’t even glanced at it.
What blew my mind even more is when I realized that 2024’s revenue was actually less than it had been in 2023—not by much, but less. And yet, there I was in this meeting with my team, realizing that who I was in that moment was the happiest and most calm version of myself I’d met yet, even though our numbers were down. And it was the same for my team. We talked about how 2024 was such a great year for us all—even though, on paper, our business did “worse.”
That’s the power of this evolution. When I look back at 2024, I don’t think of it as a year when our business didn’t succeed. I actually see it as the most successful year we’d had up to that point. And that’s because of how it felt to work together: Calm. Fulfilled. In alignment. Proud. Joyful. Meaningful.
Any year before that one, I would have obsessed over our numbers going down. It would have caused so much stress for me. I would have lost sleep. I would have seen it as my own personal failure. But there I was, not feeling any ounce of that.
I’m proud to say that 2025 has been no different. I’ve carried forward this idea of surrendering, of letting things unfold, of not stressing about things you can’t control. Of waiting for the right opportunities to come along—because, I’ve learned, they will. And because of that, I’m closing out 2025 feeling even better than I felt at the end of 2024.
So what led to this shift? I think it boils down to a few key things:
First, I’ve adopted the “slow yes.” All that means is that before I commit to something, I check in with myself and make sure that I really, truly want to say yes. If I don’t feel like saying, “Heck yes!” to whatever it is, I say no. It has to be fully aligned.
This is a shift for me because I used to be very quick to commit. Part of that came from wanting to help and serve people, but it also came from a fear of how saying no might be perceived. I never want to be seen as someone who doesn't care or who isn't generous because I know that's who I am in my heart. But what I eventually realized is that if I don’t actually want to do something, then I'm doing myself and the person asking me a disservice because my “yes” isn’t coming from a place of alignment or joy. Now, I no longer worry about how my no will be perceived because I know it’s the right choice for both of us. Plus, I still do my best to be generous: I might look for another creative way to help that person, like connecting them with someone else who can help, and I find great joy in that.
The real test of my “slow yes” came this year, when I chose to say no to things that could have been great revenue opportunities for the business. In the past, the revenue would have made me say “heck yes!” But now, I understand that there is a cost to that yes. If it’s not a personal “heck yes,” I won’t be at my best or most creative when I work on that thing, and that’s not fair to the person asking.
My team totally supports me in making decisions that are aligned with my desires, joys, and passions, and I'm so grateful. They don't want me to take on things in service of the business if they’re going to cause me to feel resentful or if they will affect my leadership. If I say yes to something that doesn't come from a place of full alignment, I’m doing us all a disservice.
The second shift I made was in my mindset. I’ve embraced the “if it's meant to be, it will be” mentality. In the past, I used to follow up so many times on potential partnerships and contracts because I had a scarcity mindset. I wanted to make sure that I did everything I possibly could so that a project or contract worked out. Looking back on it now, I see that I was trying to control an uncontrollable situation. I thought that if I just put in enough effort, I could control the outcome, but I know now that that’s a waste of effort. It’s not that I don't follow up with people anymore, but when I do, it comes from a different place. I work to close contracts because I want to serve. Because my yeses are heck yeses, I’m committed to seeing them through. The difference is that the fear of rejection is gone. If we're not moving forward, then we're not moving forward. Before, that outcome might have devastated me, but now, I really believe that what is meant for you is going to happen.
The third shift was recognizing that what goes down almost always comes back up. To me, this means allowing for the natural evolution of things in business.
I used to operate from a more rigid, black-and-white place. I was constantly looking at and stressing about our numbers, and if they weren’t what I wanted them to be, I made every decision with revenue and growth in mind. But now, I see this constant climbing and reaching for more as exhausting. The goalpost always moves. You never feel like you arrive at success because you’re always striving for something more.
But that path, as I know all too well, leads to burnout. Now that I have some perspective on it, I recognize that so much of that drive to grow and push for more came from self-induced stress. And it was stress that didn't just affect me, but our company, too. And it was never going to stop or slow down . . . unless I did. These last two years, I’ve embraced the idea that it’s okay to have slower quarters and slower years. It’s possible—even necessary—to slow down in order to speed up. I’ve learned that the more I can let go and allow for the natural evolution of things, the more that this rings true.
None of this means that I no longer care about revenue, success, or performance. It doesn't mean that I never look at our numbers anymore. I absolutely do, but now, I feel more detached from them. I’ve loosened my grip. I see the ways I can influence those numbers, but I don’t stress about it. When the numbers drop, I don’t go into emergency overdrive and exhaust myself and my team trying to change them. Instead, I focus on what I can control, on my “heck yeses,” and I make sure we’re headed in the right direction. What happens after that will unfold the way it’s meant to.
In 2025, I fully embraced these principles. And what's amazing to me is that this year, our revenue is on track to increase. Not dramatically, but it’s more than 2024. That’s thanks in part to closing some of the biggest contracts we've ever had in our business—and yet, none of it was stressful. In fact, we closed some of those contracts entirely over email, which shows me how in alignment our clients are with us. I’ve learned that when you find partners that gel so well with your work, you don't need to jump through hoops to make things happen. When you get a “heck yes” from both parties, you can simply move forward and focus on the work. And that happened so many times this year. Every project we worked on and every client we worked with felt so aligned.
The best part about 2025 is that, internally, it has been filled with so much joy, so much peace, so much calmness, and so much inner fulfillment. I see it in myself. I see it in the team. I feel the difference in our company. I feel that my commitment to surrendering has had a huge impact, not just on me, but on my team, on our business, and even on my family, who told me so many times this year how calm I seemed, how much more present I was with them, and how different I was in a great way.
On a deep level, personally, I feel so free. That is what surrender has given me. It's the most freeing feeling to trust that it's all going to work out and that the things that are meant for you will find you.
So now, my friends, for my final ask of 2025: What would it look like for you to surrender as you go into 2026? What are you gripping too tightly? What would happen if you stopped chasing and started trusting? Hit “reply” and tell me what is coming up for you.
Speaking of surrender and calm . . . Starting this week, our team is taking our yearly holiday break. We take this time to pour into ourselves and our families so that we can come back in the new year feeling refreshed, renewed, reinspired, and more excited than ever to keep going. It’s something I’m so grateful that we’ve been able to build into our culture, and it’s very much connected to everything I’ve shared here.
We will see you back here on January 13th, 2026! I hope you have the best holiday season. Thank you so much for being here and for going along on this journey with me and our team. It means more than I could possibly express.
Wishing you and yours health, happiness, and lots of rest!
Big hugs,
