How I clear my mind when stress has taken over
I recently had a moment when I felt so overwhelmed by my to-do list that it stopped me in my tracks.
I’m sure you can relate: It was one of those times when I thought to myself, “There is literally no way I’m going to get all this done. There are just not enough hours left in this day.”
At the time, I had some deliverables that were due within the next 24 to 48 hours. I really wanted to do my best on them, which only added to my level of overwhelm. I didn’t want to let anyone down—including myself.
I was tense, exhausted, and struggling to think clearly. And when I noticed these feelings in myself, I did something that the Kristen of even a year ago would not have done: I decided to walk away and take a break.
I got up from my desk, walked downstairs to the kitchen, and made dinner for me and my husband, which is something I love to do. I turned my mind off of work, we ate together and connected, and then, after we were done, I decided that I would walk back upstairs to my office and regroup.
When I got back to my desk, the first thing I did was make a list of every single thing on my mind that was stressing me out. I wrote it all down on one big piece of paper.
Then, I went through the list and circled every single thing that was an actual priority. Sure, I would have loved to get to everything, but that was not happening. I decided to release myself of my self-imposed deadlines and only circle the things that had the most pressing time constraints.
Making lists when I’m overwhelmed isn’t a new habit; I’ve always loved a good list. But in the past, I would have made that list, circled my priorities, and then worked until 1 or 2 a.m. trying to finish all the things that I circled. I would have gotten it all done, but I would’ve left myself very little time to sleep. And I would have felt it the next day.
But not this time.
This time, I decided to set a time limit for myself. I gave myself two hours, set a timer on my phone, and told myself that whatever wasn’t done by the time my alarm sounded would have to wait until the next morning.
Two hours later, the timer went off. While I hadn’t crossed off every circled item on my list, I’d made some progress, and that felt good. A big part of me wanted to keep pushing, but I reminded myself of the commitment I made to keep it to two hours. I shut down my computer and went to bed.
The next morning, after a great night's sleep, I woke up early and sat down at my desk just after 5:30 a.m. I knocked out the two biggest things left on my list before 7:30, and it felt so good to go into the day with those two items already crossed off.
The difference in how I felt between the night before and the next day was . . . well, night and day. I woke up feeling refreshed, renewed, and so much more mentally clear. I was a heck of a lot less stressed. I did really great work that I was proud of. And I did my work more quickly and effectively. Getting those two big things done was very motivating, and it led to me keeping that trend going and getting a couple of other things done before my first meeting of the day. I even had time to go on a morning walk, something I couldn’t have even fathomed I would have time for the night before.
This whole experience reminded me that when we’re stressed, we’re often not grounded in reality. We can’t think as clearly. When we let our stress do the talking, it creates this false sense of urgency and makes us think, “I need to do it all and I need to do it all right now!”
When I woke up after a good night’s sleep and looked back at the list I’d made, it was almost funny to me to see all the things I’d circled. What had felt urgent to me the night before really wasn't. I was happy I’d spent a couple hours knocking some things off the list, but I was also really grateful that I called it a night and got some sleep. I realized that when I’m well-rested, I’m clear-headed, and I make better decisions about how to best use my time.
I also do better work. That morning as I worked, I was so much more creative, I prioritized more effectively, and I was even more thoughtful in my email responses. I know it's cliche, but it’s so true: Sometimes, all you need to do to make something work better (including yourself) is to unplug it for a bit and then plug it back in.
I’m calling this new strategy of mine the two-hour rule based on how much time I gave myself that night, but really, if you want to try it the next time you feel overwhelmed, you can take as much or as little time as you want. Make a list, get everything out that's on your mind, and then set a timer. Make sure that whatever amount of time you choose allows you plenty of time to rest, renourish, unplug, sleep, or whatever it is you need to do. Then, when you’re fresh, come back to your list and keep chipping away at it. When you're rested and clear-headed, you might realize that what was overwhelming you before isn’t even important to you now.
Depending on how stressed you are, you might want to skip the timer entirely. Make your list and then walk away from it. Give yourself permission to rest and then get back to it the next day. I chose to keep going for two hours because I felt like I had the capacity to do it and do it well, but there are certainly times when the best thing you can do for yourself is stop.
I hope this post reminds you that when the stress is talking, walking away is going to feel like the last thing you should do. But the next time you're in a moment like I was, I hope you'll think about my experience. Allow yourself to disconnect, and you'll be able to come back to it so much more clear-headed, less stressed, and you'll probably get it done faster and better.
When is the last time you had a moment like this? Describe it to me. What was your stress telling you? How did you overcome it? Hit “reply” and tell me all about it!
Cheering for you and for us! We’ve got this!
Big hugs,
