Human Leadership has been out in the world for one whole week, and all I can think about is how different this book launch felt from my first one.
When I wrote Permission to Screw Up, I had never launched a book before, so I wasn’t sure what that entailed. As soon as I turned in the final manuscript, everyone around me started talking about a book tour. It came from all angles: my publisher, other authors I knew, clients, friends who wanted to know where they could see me talk about the book.
It sounded like a book tour is what I was supposed to do. So that’s what I did.
For me, that looked like taking as many speaking engagements as I could when the book initially came out. It looked like contacting bookstores close to my speaking gigs to see if they were interested in hosting book signings and author talks. It looked like flying to New York City for an epic launch-day event at a swanky venue, followed by a night of clubbing in the city. And it looked like flying back to New York at the last minute to be interviewed on live television and recording podcasts afterward in my hotel.
Don’t get me wrong: I loved all of that at the time. It was exciting and energizing. It felt like I was doing a real book tour like I’d seen other authors do, which felt really cool.
But that was also almost 10 years ago, when I was in my mid-twenties.
When it came time to talk about launching Human Leadership, I started to hear the same whispers about a book tour. Well-meaning clients, friends, and those in the publishing space asked about my plans. We talked about bookstore events, live television, podcasts, speaking engagements . . . all the things. And I noticed that when we did, my chest got tight.
It was a subtle internal signal that was trying to tell me something (if you’ve read the new book, you know that’s the kind of thing I’ve been working on paying attention to). It wasn’t that any of these ideas were bad; it’s just that something about doing them felt off for me.
I realized that the thought of repeating what I did for the launch of Permission to Screw Up—or going even bigger—felt exhausting. I was tired just thinking about it. And then I thought about the spirit and message of my newest book. It’s all about leading yourself, taking ownership of what you need, not expecting anyone to read your mind, and giving yourself permission to be human. I made it my mission to keep that in mind as we planned out what the launch of Human Leadership would look like.
I thought about the things that would bring me the most joy: doing work with clients I love, whether it was related to the book or not; recording podcasts with people I find interesting; writing and contributing to articles that I hope will make a lasting difference; writing blog posts to you to share more about what this experience has been like; and having some space in my schedule to breathe and be present. I was still open to doing media and hosting bookstore events, but only when it worked with my schedule and felt 100% right. I wanted to savor and enjoy every moment of this book launch, not feel like it went by in a flash because I was hopping from plane to plane and moving so fast that I couldn’t revel in it.
So that’s what I did. But let me tell you: It was hard to keep that promise to myself. Everywhere I turned, someone would ask, So what are you doing for your book tour? I’d have to fight that internal urge that told me I “should” be doing more because “more” is what a book tour “should” look like.
It was hard to turn down wonderful opportunities with tradeoffs that just weren’t worth it to me or that didn’t have the best timing. It was hard not to fill up every blank space on my calendar when I saw how empty it was during launch week.
But thank goodness I didn’t. Because guess what became possible because of that?
We got to throw an impromptu launch party at a hotel near my home in Houston, in the same spot where I wrote a majority of the book. It came together quickly and naturally with no stress at all, and nearly 70 people showed up to celebrate with us.
The team and I got to focus our efforts on creating a ton of resources and put them together on this new webpage for you, and we had a blast doing it. We wanted to give you a next step after reading the book so that you can apply its lessons to your own life. On that page, you’ll find downloadable resources, a book discussion guide, behind-the-scenes interviews with people who appear in the book, a new leadership assessment, and a completely revamped Human Leadership Program.
And on top of all of that . . . Just in case you didn’t hear the news on social media: I’m pregnant! Our baby boy is due in the spring. I learned about the baby shortly after submitting my final book edits. On the Sunday of launch week, I ran a half marathon with my little guy, and we did all 13.1 miles. It felt like such a meaningful way to enter launch week—to do something for me and to do it with my son, who I can’t wait to meet. Not having a jam-packed calendar allowed me to create such a special memory and to share the news intentionally. A book launch and a baby announcement at the same time . . . because why not?
I also got to be home with Spiros as we celebrated our five-year wedding anniversary.
And then, on the complete opposite end of the emotional spectrum, we had an unexpected family emergency at the end of launch week. Everything will be okay, but it rocked our world, and having space in my calendar allowed me to show up for my family and arrange my travel so that I can be with them this upcoming week. I had the space to feel all the emotions that can come along with something like this and didn’t feel pressure to put on a smile and keep going when I just didn’t feel like it.
I’m learning in my life that we can “should” ourselves all day long, but where does that get us? I’m also learning that most people often ask well-meaning questions about things like a book launch because they’re interested and want to spark conversation . . . not because they’re holding you to an expectation. I’ve learned that the more I can give myself permission to choose what my heart truly wants, the more aligned I will feel, and the more love I can pour into everything I do.
We must listen to the internal cues. The tightness. The silent tug that tells us, That doesn’t feel quite right. Those subtle messages are telling us something. They are giving us the power to break away from the “shoulds” and follow what our hearts want most. And when we do that, everyone wins.
Where are you “should-ing” yourself? Reply to this email and tell me all about it.
Big hugs,
Kristen
(PS: If you haven’t gotten your copy of the book yet, you can order it here.)
(PPS: If you’re in the U.S., please go vote if you haven’t already! Now more than ever, we need leaders who embody the principles of human leadership: the ones who have the courage to make our country a better place to live and the compassion to set aside their own egos and agendas and bring people together.)
