THE GREATEST WEAPON IS LOVE
I recently read a book that has been on my to-read list for years. I’d always heard great things about it, and now I understand why people recommend it so highly.
It’s a small-but-mighty book first published in 1968 called The Greatest Salesman in the World by Og Mandino.
I don't want to give away too much in case you want to read this book on your own, but the gist is that it’s a fable about a poor camel boy named Hafid who wants to become an excellent salesman. Hafid receives 10 scrolls, each of which contains a philosophy that’s meant to guide a person’s mindset and lead them to success. I always thought it was a book meant for salespeople, but as I read, I quickly realized that it applies to all aspects of life.
Each of the 10 scrolls is impactful, but the one that resonated the most with me was about love. The philosophy of the scroll reads, “I will greet this day with love in my heart.”
As I read about this philosophy and what it means to start each day with love, one line especially struck me: “I will make love my greatest weapon.” This resonated with me because it echoes something that I believe down to my bones: So many—if not all—of our challenges can be solved with love.
As humans, I think we often complicate things by letting our egos get in the way. I can't think of many times when love hasn’t been the solution or the bridge to repair in my life and relationships. I don’t think of love as a “weapon” in a negative way, but more as a solution that is mightier than anything else that exists. But allowing love to be your guiding principle isn’t easy. Approaching your days with love takes greater intention, self-awareness, and letting go of the need to be right.
I've put in a lot of work over the years to cultivate an instinct where my first reaction is love. I'm not perfect, and I don't always get it right, but I've tried to become someone who can meet any moment—especially the hardest ones—with love.
Here’s what that looks like in practice:
I try to say sorry first. No matter whether I think I’m right or wrong, whether I’ve been hurt or I hurt someone else, I apologize first. Even when someone has hurt me, I know that there are always two sides to a story, and it’s rare that I’m totally blameless in a situation. It’s important to me to be someone who speaks up and owns my part.
I try to forgive quickly. We’re all humans just trying to do the best we can, and we inevitably get things wrong sometimes. I want to give people grace instead of holding on to resentment because, really, what good comes from that? In my experience, it only leads to pain for me and the other person. People have sometimes been shocked at how quickly I move on, as if that’s a negative thing, or they’ll look at me skeptically if I suggest that they forgive and forget. But it comes from this place of wanting to lead with love and compassion for others, which I think is one of the reasons I’ve been able to cultivate strong relationships in my life. I always say that the quicker you can forgive and move forward, the better you're both going to feel and the better chance that relationship has to thrive.
I try to reach out first when something feels off in a relationship. When I get the feeling that I’ve upset someone or that something seems “off” in a dynamic, I reach out instead of waiting for the person to come to me. I do that because I want them to know that I care about them and our relationship, and it’s worth having a conversation that can potentially repair our connection and make it even stronger. If I know I’ve done something to create tension or upset another person, I want to know how I can grow or fix it so that we can get to a better place. This one is tricky because ego can really get in the way. We might say to ourselves, Well, if they have a problem with me, they can come to me about it! But being the one to reach out first means that I can choose to start that conversation with love and compassion instead of hurt feelings.
I try not to take things personally or make assumptions. This is a big one, and it’s also easy for ego to get in the way. So often, we make situations about us. We assume that people are responding or acting in a certain way because of us or something we did, when really, it often has nothing to do with us and everything to do with them. Even when someone says something hurtful or overreacts to something I’ve said, I try to keep in mind that there’s probably something deeper going on within them. I don’t think anyone wakes up in the morning and says, “I can't wait to hurt someone today!” Most people probably aren’t even aware of how they come across or how their actions affect others. Wasting energy on getting upset with them won’t do either of us any good.
I try to stay open and curious, even when I'm feeling hurt. This is another tough one, but it goes such a long way to improving and strengthening relationships. I keep this in mind any time I need to have a hard conversation, whether I’m giving feedback or speaking up after being hurt. It’s hard to stay curious and continue trying to understand the other person's point of view, especially when what they're saying is hurtful or hard to hear, but that’s what gets you to the other side. That’s the bridge to connection. And I know from experience that it’s possible to end a conversation like that without an agreement or without seeing eye-to-eye and still come away with love and care for each other. Choosing to approach hard conversations with curiosity, openness, and compassion keeps relationships thriving.
I try to deliver tough messages with compassion, love, thought, and intention. Speaking of saying hard things: I think it's not only possible but necessary to be both clear and compassionate when delivering tough news. Striking that balance has been one of the hardest things for me to learn, and I would say I’m still learning. I have a strong desire to show up with love in every instance, which sometimes makes me want to cushion the message or not say what I'm really thinking and feeling. But I've learned that the most loving thing I can do is be clear about what I think and feel.
I try to love myself well. When I'm having a tough day and I'm frustrated with myself, I try to treat myself like I would a friend or loved one. Instead of criticism, I give myself grace and compassion. I ask what I can do to pour into my cup and care for myself like I would for someone I love. I recognize that the relationship I have with others is only as strong as the relationship I have with me.
Reading The Greatest Salesman in the World really made me think about how so much in life comes back to love. If you are looking for an inspiring read, I highly recommend this book! It's one that I'll probably read a few more times so I can refresh myself on its lessons because they’re the kind that really make you stop and think about your life.
How about you? Would you say that love is a guiding principle in your life? What does it look like in practice for you? Tell me all about it by hitting “reply!” My team and I love hearing from you.
Big hugs,
