Leading with an invitation instead of a mandate
A few years ago, I tried to start a wellness challenge on our team.
I had recently renewed my focus on my own health, and I wanted an extra layer of accountability to help me keep up with my new habits. After just a short time, I already had so much more energy and felt so much more vibrant, and I thought these results might inspire my team to come along on my health journey with me.
At the time, I was committed to doing some form of intentional movement every day, whether it was a run, walk, or quick workout at home. Even if it was only for five minutes, my goal was to do something every day. My idea for a wellness challenge was simple: I would add our team to a new group chat, and anytime one of us did any form of intentional movement, we would post about it there. I hoped that by doing so, we would keep each other inspired and motivated to focus on our health together.
I shared my idea in our weekly team meeting and asked my team what they thought. One person quickly chimed in and said, “That sounds great!” so, I immediately thought, “Great! Let’s do this!”
Right after that meeting, I created the group chat and invited everyone to it. I envisioned that it would be our space to cheer each other on, share wins and struggles, and give updates on our goals.
Except . . . that’s not what happened. I posted in the group chat often, and so did the one other person who originally expressed excitement in the meeting, but that was really it. Every now and then, someone else would chime in, but it wasn’t anything like I’d hoped. It didn’t feel encouraging or inspiring. It actually made me feel less motivated because the plan wasn’t working out like I’d wanted it to.
We happened to have a quarterly review coming up. In that meeting, we often discuss new things we’ve implemented and how we think they’re going, so I decided to bring up the group chat.
The feedback I got from the team surprised me—and helped me realize something important.
I learned that not everyone liked the group chat. In fact, some even said they found it discouraging because they either weren't in a place where they could focus on their health or they just didn’t want to.
It was never my intention to prescribe or force anyone to do anything. I know that health is a very personal journey, and what has worked for me might not work for everyone. I also know from my own experience that it’s the kind of thing you have to want for yourself. If you're not personally invested, it won’t stick.
After that team conversation, we got rid of the group chat. But I couldn’t let go of the idea of supporting my team with their personal wellness. I want us to be the best possible versions of ourselves in all parts of our lives, not just at work, but I’ve often struggled with how hard to push in those other areas.
What I kept coming back to is that I'm committed to my own health and wellness journey, and I've seen the difference it's made in my own life. I know that when I'm feeling my best, I bring a greater energy to my work, I stress less, and I feel greater fulfillment.
Instead of forcing everyone to join another group chat, I focused on modeling my investment in my health. In our weekly meeting, when I shared my update about my life outside of work, I would talk about what I was doing for my health. I’d found other ways of holding myself accountable to my daily movement, and I would share my progress with my team. I stopped scheduling meetings in the mornings and made sure my team knew that I did it so that I always had time to move my body, and I gave them permission to do the same. They know my stance: I want us to have a culture where people don't ever feel like they have to choose between their work and their health.
When I started running races this year (which I’ve written about several times), I talked about it a lot with my team. I dedicated a portion of my personal update to talking about my training runs and how I’m preparing for my next race.
And then . . . something very cool happened.
One member of my team started running.
Then another.
Now, make no mistake: That is not because of me. That’s because of them. They decided to do it for themselves. But it made me so happy to hear one of them say that hearing me talk about running so much, watching me do it, and even reading the blogs I wrote about it is what ultimately inspired her to try it.
And now, something I always wanted but never expected to happen is happening.
A couple months ago, I got an opportunity to run a half-marathon in December for a cause I really believe in: St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. Patients of St. Jude and their families never receive a single bill for treatment or care, so it’s a mission I am grateful to support. Every year, St. Jude hosts a huge race in Memphis, which is one of their biggest annual fundraisers. All proceeds go toward the mission of saving children and finding cures for cancer and other horrific diseases.
I’ve never done a half-marathon. I’ve never even run 13.1 miles all at once. But when I told my team that I wanted to do it, I also gave them an invitation: If anyone wanted to join me in Memphis for the race, they could. And they didn’t have to commit to the half-marathon; they could run the 5K, 10K, or even the full marathon if they wanted to.
Next thing I knew, two people on our team—the two who are newly into running—signed up with me for the race! They are both doing the 10K, and we're all traveling to Memphis together in December. I'm so flipping excited! I know it's going to be so meaningful, not just because we’re doing it together, but also because of the cause we’re supporting.
Now, the three of us have a new group chat, one that we all agreed we want to be a part of. Every time we have a training session, we post about it, and we cheer each other on. Sometimes, we post about how much we don’t want to train or how hard a run felt, and that helps, too; it makes it feel like we're in it together. And so far? It’s been really nice . . . the opposite of how it felt when I first tried to do something like this years ago!
So, what changed?
I think it all boils down to this: I learned how to lead with an invitation instead of a mandate. I learned to model instead of force. I learned that in order for something to really stick, people have to choose to do it themselves.
The other thing is that not everyone on our team opted in to this race. And that’s totally fine. In fact, it’s great! I only want people to do something if they truly want to do it. When it comes to wellness, there are so many ways to invest in your health. It does not need to look like running a race. Each person has to find their own unique journey, and I fully support that, even when it doesn’t look like mine.
The race is December 6th! If you want to stay up-to-date on how our training is going, follow along on my Instagram stories, where I often share about my journey.
If this post has brought up any thoughts about leading with an invitation instead of a mandate or about wellness initiatives in general, I would love to hear from you. Hit “reply” and tell me everything that’s on your mind!
Big hugs,
